Quaker
Theology -- Issue #17
Selected Excerpts from, To Be Broken and Tender: A Quaker Theology for Today.
“Waiting and Attending”
One day in prayer I saw a mound of clay being worked by two hands, one
the hand of a child, the other the hand of an adult. Then I saw the
infinite faces of Jesus. Some faces were familiar— one, the face in the
children’s book of my youth, another the rough-hewn face of a vigorous
Jewish man— the infinite images of Jesus we hold singly and together.
Then I saw a darkness, and in that darkness a door opened up into
incredible beauty and light beyond comprehension.
The closeness of love and friendship—a dimension of holiness made
visible in Jesus—defines my life. Comfort is as simple as a hand on my
knee as I cry. Friendship is as complex as listening to my delights, my
frustrations, and my fury with a willingness to say when I am off
track. Love is full of passion. Love is a deliberate action arising out
what I know of God. Dreams give a place for words and a shape to the
ongoing experiment which is my life.
It has not always been this way. Forty years of waiting preceded my
experience of this vision, and the depths of the opening and
transformation it represents. Years of living into the image of my
taciturn Dad, a mix of athleticism, technological expertise,
gentleness, without ever considering I might be loved for myself. That
waiting was an unconscious seeking which gradually opened me and made
space within me for God’s work to be visible. This time made space for
me to accept unconditional, infinite love when it broke into my
awareness at a moment of grieving my father’s death. Only awareness of
being loved was enough to change me at the core so I might become more
tender to the condition of those I encounter and to myself. In this
process I came to know divine Love as powerful comfort and as a huge,
not always pleasant, impetus for transformation.
A Transforming Way
Many of us experience a point in our lives when it is time to take
stock, to review where we are going, and to move forward on a path
which reflects our values and our hopes. This hiatus may be voluntary,
or it may come without warning. Upon my father’s death in 1991, I found
myself suddenly confronted with the reality of the Eternal Presence in
the world. Until then, I defined my faith in terms of action: what
Friends call the testimonies of peace, simplicity, equality, community
and integrity. Mysticism was an abstract concept. Theology seemed
irrelevant.
Early Friends rejected academic theology and church-imposed creeds.
They saw both as dry and devoid of life. While George Fox, the founder
of Quakerism, and others wrote much that can be called “theology,”
their sole purpose was to point others to the living reality of Christ
present. Yet the letters of Margaret Fell, Isaac Penington and others
offered spiritual guidance and encouragement to individuals,
theological and practical instruction to Meetings, and warnings to
persecutors of the danger to their souls. These Friends also wrote many
tracts defending their faith in a time when blasphemy, and even
worshiping outside the established church were grounds for imprisonment
and fines. Thus, when I speak of “theology” I follow their practice of
referring to what they personally knew of God, not some academic
exercise or what I’ve heard from other people. But I also hope that
what I write will help others to find their way and to articulate what
unites Friends as a body, as well as what gives life to us as
individuals.
The intensity of that mystical opening in 1991 sent me into the Quaker
journals which spoke of such encounters with Christ Jesus. Theology –
the way we speak of the nature of God and all that is holy — began to
make sense and allowed me to integrate this new inner life with a life
of activism. It gave my head and heart a place to meet and helped me
articulate my experience of spiritual growth and discernment. As I
named the Eternal at work in me, contrasts sharpened and my soul and
brain became less at odds. The Light exposed traps which had too long
held me in a place of fear, and highlighted the ways in which worship
reshapes social justice actions. One thread running quietly through the
book is Friends’ commitment to peace and the multiple ways this might
shape us even in our failures to live into it. The peace testimony asks
for nonviolence at many levels, as well as removing the seeds of war.
In it I find a commitment to engage without rancor people whose beliefs
seem in sharp contrast to mine. I have lived this out among Quakers who
are deeply divided across the theological and political spectrum. I
have had to deal with my own prejudices and fears in order to be
faithful to this testimony. My work benefits from the pressure of
evangelical Friends to articulate and examine my own beliefs.
I have questions about what underlies the work of bridging divides,
directly or indirectly: How does a person of faith who is not at all
certain about Christianity (especially as that term gets battered about
in 21st-century America) speak about that hope which grounds her work
and life? Is everything up for grabs? How does community inform
individual spirituality and growth? Is Christianity hopelessly
bankrupt, the tool of those who want to press just one version of
morality? As the world grows smaller, how can Christians, Muslims,
Hindus, Buddhists and all the myriad of others learn to cooperate so
that all might enjoy this earth?
“The Consuming Fire”
In 1652 Margaret Fell had a sharp revelation that caused her to cry in
her spirit, “We are all thieves; we are all thieves. We have taken the
Scriptures in words, and know nothing of them in ourselves.” These
words told of the searing power of the Light burning through Fell’s
soul. These words marked her transition from a reliance on outward
guidance of the church to awareness of Christ Within and her own
obligation to listen and follow that Guide. Two years later she could
write an epistle to all Friends with assurance about the work of that
Inward Guide, which “opens the Mystery of God, …[and] who is a
Consuming Fire to all that is not of him.” The quickness with which she
stepped into leadership and spoke with the authority evident in this
letter bespeaks her preparation for this opening: her thorough
knowledge of the Bible, her privileged position in society, and the
long period of seeking which preceded her encounter with George Fox.
My transformation began as sharply as Fell’s, but took longer in its
realization. Only looking back can I see it as the result of a long
search. In 1991, in my early forties, in many ways I felt lost. After
nearly five years of interacting with evangelical Friends, I wasn’t at
all clear about who Quakers were. I was clear about attending the Fifth
World Conference of Friends in Kenya that summer, even though I was not
a Yearly Meeting representative. I was disoriented by my father’s
cancer. My work as a planning consultant was erratic: good jobs
alternated with time spent marketing myself. I became more and more
vulnerable and in despair; a precondition to being opened and broken.
“The New Creation”
We are called to live in the New Creation, a life lived in accord with
the Beatitudes and other teachings of Jesus. A life of simplicity and
integrity evidences a life transformed so thoroughly that neither
greed, nor fear, nor the opinions of popular culture remain central. In
such lives, in such communities, the Light shines so clearly that the
City of God becomes visible.
The City of God is visible in everyone who lives Truth in all things.
The blessing of the City is visible in the tree whose leaves are for
the healing of the nations. The City is a place for justice, where all
people know respect. Here we also come to know our rightful place in
the dynamic system that is the earth and all its creatures. And the
existence of the City can only come about through the “Lamb’s War,”
which rejects all violence and knows only the weapons of kindness,
gentleness, truth, peace, joy and compassion. Above all, it is the way
of humility and faithfulness to divine leading: a willingness to do
that which is ours to do no matter how strong the pull to take on all
the ills of the world.
Raising up the New Creation and seeking to live it out on earth puts us
at odds with popular culture and much that is happening around us. Yet
this vision is not unique to Friends: it is the way a significant
number of people read the Gospel message and is consistent with what I
know of Buddhism as well as the teachings of the Yoga sutras. It is a
way of being that many people have reached through many faith
traditions. The particular take any group has on this vision is its
own, but we share much in common. It is a path at once very lonely and
full of fellow travelers.
“The City of God”
Realizing the City of God on earth is to me the end point of Quaker
mysticism: a union with God which is engaged in the world. At times
Quakers speak of “practical mysticism” or “ethical mysticism” or even
“familied monasticism” to describe an approach to life that is grounded
in spiritual practice as disciplined as that of monks, but lived out in
ordinary homes among the pressures of the everyday world. Similarly,
the Buddhist pacifist, Thich Nhat Hanh has spoken of “engaged Buddhism”
to convey the need for contemplatives to respond to the world around
them.
The 46th Psalm has been central to my vocal ministry at times. It
provides me with a glimpse of the City of God in a way which reaches
beyond words. Verses four and five proclaim:
There is a river whose streams make glad the City of God, the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of the city; it shall not be moved…
The Psalm goes on to point out that while nations may be in an uproar
and kingdoms tottering, the City of God is safe from such things. The
power of God is more than any human or natural force. God devastates
human plans by destroying weapons and making wars to cease! The Psalm
goes on to tell us, “be still and know that I am God.”
That complex, disturbing book, Revelation — the last book of the Bible
— has the fullest vision of the City of God. It is most definitely a
holy place, filled with the divine spirit, “coming down out of heaven,”
to be squarely part of this earth. (Revelation 21:2) This City is clear
and transparent. No hidden places exist there: no secret deals in back
corners, no lies, no covert control by malicious (or even benign)
forces.
The New Jerusalem has twelve gates, which seems restrictive to us
today. But two thousand years ago this was an image of an open city
where all may come and go freely. Most cities then were walled, heavily
guarded, and had one, or perhaps as many as four, gates depending on
their size.
There are no temples in the city. This recalls John 4:24, where Jesus
tells the woman at the well that a day will come when people will no
longer worship on the mountain, as her people did, or in the temple, as
the Hebrew people did, but all would worship in Spirit and in Truth.
Passages from the gospel of John and Revelation underpin the Quaker
refusal to consecrate churches or otherwise assert that one could only
worship in certain places: the important thing is how we worship and
our awareness of the Spirit present among us, not the place.
“Suffering”
In 2007, I had the privilege of spending a few days with a well-to-do
extended family. They owned an apartment building where the family
members lived side by side, each with their own apartment yet with the
doors open all the time, meals shared, and kids running in and out with
great freedom. They lavished me with good food, showed me their city
with pride, and I joined them in the Easter week celebration at their
church, where one of the families accompanied the priest through the
stations of the cross, carrying the symbol of Christ’s crucifixion.
The last night I was there, they sat me down in the living room and
started to speak of their lives. They told of soldiers occupying the
building where I was now staying, and in their occupation destroying
the plumbing and ruining much of what was there. They told of a
neighbor, a young mother, stepping onto her own balcony for a moment
and being shot and killed for stepping outside during curfew. The
father showed me his damaged hands, which meant he could no longer
create the jewelry which had been his main livelihood. Their story was
long and immediate. A condition of living in Ramallah. They were able
to put the pieces of their lives back together, although one daughter
was still visibly suffering from the trauma. They had rejected revenge
and sent their children to the Friends School where they were taught
about peace.
Once one has experienced such suffering how is it possible to go
forward, balanced between the pulls of despair and revenge without
succumbing to either?
I inhabit a place in this world and a time in history when physical
suffering is alien to daily life for most of us. It is a tragedy– an
accident or illness or criminal act– and I am among those who have
rarely been directly touched by these War fills the news, but it is
continents away, as is mass starvation and other happenings which tear
apart whole societies. As a person of privilege, how am I to stand with
the people who hosted me in Palestine? If – when – my circumstances
change, how will I respond to pain and anguish in my own self? And on
top of this, my spiritual ancestors tell me I am to take up the cross,
an action which can cause me to voluntarily enter into a dangerous or
painful circumstance.
The cross is a messy theology, full of contradictions and used to
justify everything from self-flagellation to crusades. But one thing I
get from sitting with my spiritual ancestors, is that the cross is not
to be used as an excuse to harm anyone else, nor is to be used to seek
out suffering. However, suffering may come as a result of taking up the
cross, as Barbara Blaugdone found out centuries ago. The inward sense
of rightness which comes with taking up the cross is distinct from our
modern efforts to seek external comfort, as when we ask in Meeting for
Business if “Friends are comfortable with…” whatever is the decision of
the day, rather than explicitly considering whether this is what we are
being asked to do.
The words broken and tender speak to my spiritual condition. They
describe much of what I’ve been through in the past dozen and more
years. They tie me to my spiritual ancestors as well as to other
Friends today. In these words I also learn of changes needed in myself
and in my spiritual community: the brokenness which needs to be fixed,
as well as the brokenness which is the precursor to wholeness. They
tell me that I may feel raw and tender as my heart expands and learns
to be tender to the movement of the Spirit in other souls.
Fear is alive and well in the world. I have no doubt of that. Many
people are willing to play on that fear and use it to their advantage.
In the heart of faith is the knowledge that something broken got fixed.
One mark of Truth is that while it may point out fear and make it
visible, it is not based in fear. It destroys the power of fear. We
hide behind barriers in false hope of protection. The breaking down of
these barriers is a sign of God at work in the soul.
Fear often feels raw as it rubs off the hard edges of the heart. To be
tender is not always pleasant. Nor is being broken. I often back away
from both as fast and hard as I can. But desire draws me back, offering
a promise of breaking the fear of death. Desire for being held in the
circle of Mercy. Longing for the water of Life. A wish to move out of
the muck and step onto solid ground.
Ultimately, each of us is part of a community and in each community as
well as each individual there is that which must be broken before
finding peace with one another. The practices we have for engaging with
one another have in them the aim of fostering tenderness in our actions
and words and breaking the worldly habits of aggression and
self-interest. We stand in the odd intersection where God’s way and
human will clash and sometimes merge. My hope is in the integration of
our way with the way of Truth and Love.
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