Considerations in Planning a Memorial Meeting

Sections I and II are to be discussed with the family; sections III and IV are responsibilities of people from Mt. Toby.

I.� Care of dying person and/or family

When there is an impending death, Ministry and Worship needs to discern whether the dying person and/or family members wish to discuss the memorial meeting with someone from the meeting.� Such a discussion might consist of:

�� showing examples of the printed memorial program with explanation of possibilities (poetry, obituary)

�� sharing the possibility of some programmed elements in the meeting such as music, readings, etc.

�� inquiring about special requests

II.� After the death: visit and planning

This visit to the family would include a member of Ministry and Worship, a member of Care and Counsel, and someone else if appropriate.� Discussion would cover:

�� the service:� Are there any particular wishes for readings, music, particular persons who have been asked to speak, etc.? Would the family like to sit together and have benches set aside for this?� Since the meeting room should be cleared 30 minutes before the memorial meeting begins, the Champney Room and the nursery are available for rehearsals or family gathering.� Ministry and Worship has care of the Memorial Meeting and will designate someone to open and close.

�� the printed program:� take samples of the program in two parchment colors and ask which the family would like.� Do they have an estimate of how many programs will be needed?� The copying is done at Collective Copies in Amherst and charged to the Mt. Toby account; cost is not mentioned to the family.� Err on the side of printing too many.� The text of the program is currently on the Hoffman computer with a paper copy in the file marked Memorial Services in the file cabinet in the Library. Ask Hoffmans to print out what is needed or follow the pattern and do it yourself.

�� refreshments:� Mt. Toby offers beverages and cookies or crackers/ cheese.� Will the Hospitality Committee be involved and take responsibility?� If not, a core group needs to be assembled.

�� Guest book:� Does the family wish to provide one or would they like Mt. Toby to provide it? [Meeting should be sure to provide a permanent ink pen.]

�� child care during the memorial service:� Are there family members who will need it?� Should child care be provided for other attenders beyond the family?� This is best done in the First Day School Room.

�� taping the service:� Does the family wish this?� This tape would be only for the family; a copy of the tape is not kept by the Meeting.

�� memorial display:� Would the family like to have a display of mementos, photos, etc?

�� overnight hospitality needs:� What are the needs of the immediate family?� Care must be taken not to overextend the Meeting, offering more than can be reasonably provided.

III.� Logistical responsibilities

�� Preparation: check with

�� scheduler -- to confirm date and check about necessary heat.� THEN, if Champney Room will be in use during the memorial meeting, see that stacks of chairs are moved from there to foyer if extra seating will be needed.

�� meetinghouse cleaners -- to ask that week's cleaners to complete it before the memorial meeting

�� Brad Archer -- to request that sheep not graze near the meetinghouse during the memorial meeting

�� John -- if snowplowing or sanding will be needed, call him at 548-9270.��

�� Confirm:

--� refreshments

--� table (cloths, napkins, cups, plates)

--� flowers

--� person to set up sound system if foyer is to be used

--� person to tape meeting if family has requested it

� Building setup

�� A Meeting host with a key needs to come 1 1/2 hour early so building is available to family, florists, caterers or Mt. Toby kitchen and setup people.� The phone should be answered during this time, since it will likely be people wanting information about the service or directions to the meetinghouse.

�� If the meeting host is occupied elsewhere in the building, a person should be assigned to answer the phone during the half hour preceding the service.

�� Greeters:� generally two people from Care and Counsel

�� Parking:� Two people need to arrive at least an hour before the service to direct parking and set an early sign to mark the second parking row on the north side of the parking lot, if necessary.

�� Seating:� At least 1 hour before the service, two or three people should arrange seating, especially if chairs in foyer are needed, and set up tables for refreshments.� Seats in the meeting room reserved for family (if they have requested it) should be marked with ribbons found in storage in foyer.�

�� Radio speaker needs to be set up at least 30 minutes before meeting, if there is to be seating in the foyer.

�� Person responsible for taping the service needs to be sure how to do this.

� A Meeting host needs to stay as late as the family lingers.

IV.� Burial Ground

� Two members of Care and Counsel constitute the Burial Committee.�

�� A map of the burial ground with plot numbers can be found in the file labeled Burial Ground: Maps and Records in the file cabinet in the Library.

�� Written procedures regarding burials can be found in the file labeled Burial Ground: Procedures in the file cabinet in the Library.� Some of these procedures are also described in the Meeting Handbook.

approved by Ministry and Worship and Overseers 4/98

revised 11/98

revised 4/05 replacing �Overseers� with �Care and Counsel�