What Do You Know About the Burial Ground

5.� There are some established policies, but the burial ground is fairly new and still evolving.� Thus, we would like to know what people in the meeting envision for our burial ground.� Please give us your comments on what you would like to see, or can imagine, with respect to:

a.� the visual appearance of our burial ground

�� As is � 10

�� It should be tranquil, welcoming, friendly � 4

�� It should be simple, plain, unadorned, aesthetically pleasing � 11

�� It should be natural, pastoral, blend into surroundings, unobtrusive, even hard to find � 8

�� It should be tidy, orderly, mowed, cared for - 5

�� It should be simple yet set off as sacred - 1

�� It should be easy to care for - 1

�� Can there be shrubbery around it?� A flower border?� A grassy area?� A fence and gate into it?� Trees and benches? � 8

�� Right now it looks neglected, unwelcoming, like a corner of a sheep pasture - 3

�� Boundaries and a sign would be good � 1

�� I�d like a fence and gate into the Burial Ground - 1

�� I�d like to see trees and benches - 1

�� There should be no parking nearby � 1

�� I�d like an Ash Garden for scattering ashes - 1

�� Summary/Sense:� Support for present arrangement, with interest in more plantings and better maintenance.� Strong interest in simplicity, although that can mean quite different things to different people.

b.� accessibility

�� Fine as is - 18

�� Very important - 5

�� Aisles or pathways, mowed or paved, wide enough for wheelchair, from parking lot and/or meetinghouse - 7

�� Suggest path and entrance - 1

�� Would like spots for reflection nearby - 1

�� What about access in mud and ice?� Can winter accessibility be arranged for visitors? - 2

Summary/Sense:� Present arrangement is ok for most, unless we build a fence or wall.� (See other comments in (c) below.)� There is recognition by others that accessibility could be improved, especially with walkways.� More conversation will be needed on how many paths, where, and what surface would best serve us.� Winter accessibility, both for visitors and burials, will entail further conversation.

c.� fencing

�� Yes - 5

�� No/not needed � 16 (includes emphatic no and no but)

�� Not sure/why? - 8

�� Should be natural - 1

�� A fence would exclude other areas, would conflict with our understanding of death � 2

�� Fence sheep out from the part with burials - 1

�� If we have one it should be unobtrusive, sturdy, not formidable, not too permanent � 3

�� Perhaps a little one to know [the Burial Ground] is there � 2

�� Maybe not on all sides; on one side, to separate parking - 2

�� Just a gate at the beginning � 1

�� There should be some indicator of the boundary � 3

�� I like it without a fence; could there be trees/shrubs/a hedge/flowers/plantings/a stone wall to mark boundaries? - 8

�� Summary/Sense:� There is objection to formal fencing with distinct separation of inside and outside.� There is support for indicating boundaries, for creating a space that is peaceful and separated from cars, and that uses minimal fencing and/or natural materials such as trees or stones.�

d.� signs

�� Yes! - 1

�� No/not necessary - 6

�� Simple - 8

�� Natural - 1

�� Stone or wood, artfully crafted; stone or wood � 2

�� Small, low, not too large - 11

�� One would be good; just one, at entranceway � 7

�� At least one sign at drive pointing to Burial Ground � 1

�� Should be �below the radar� � 1

�� Only the stone markers � 2

�� Summary/Sense:� There is support for one identifying sign.� We might consider the suggestion of a directional sign as well, for visitors.

e.� grave markers or stones

�� As is - 13

�� Flat/flush with earth is better, easier to mow, less expensive to maintain, consistent - 21

�� Should be simple, small, not decorative in keeping with Friends� practice - 3

�� Natural - 1

�� Should be recessed - 1

�� Slightly raised would be easier to see, but harder to mow � 1

�� Concerned that flat markers will get grown over � 1

�� Flat markers will get grown over, so they need maintenance - 1

�� Whatever families want � 3

�� Yes!� Give stone carvers something to do, have death angel motifs and provocative words so people will come to see/read them � 1

�� Summary/Sense:� There is much support for our current practice of having flat, smallish, surface-level grave markers.� Maintenance is much easier, though we should bear in mind that they are not maintenance-free.� Current policy is �There will be no standing markers or headstones, only flat markers about 1� by 2�. . . .� Markers are, of course, optional� (Appendix II, Handbook).

f.� plantings

�� Yes � 14

�� No � 5

�� Not sure - 2

�� Should encourage plantings - 1

�� Small/sparse/low plantings - 4

�� Bulbs/perennials/small ornamentals � 2

�� Non-invasive species, edible/non-toxic - 2

�� Are families permitted to plant bulbs? - 2

�� Plantings as border rather than on graves - 2

�� Should be low maintenance � 2

�� Plantings mean maintenance questions:� mowing?� Which areas are communal?� Are plantings in honor of someone?� Who cares for them? - 2

�� Would they be under care of plantings keeper?� -2

�� What do families/people buried there want? -2

�� 1-2 trees at border � 1

�� I�d love to see a big spreading tree with a bench beneath facing the mountains - 1

�� Can a memorial tree be planted over [scattered?] ashes, not necessarily in the Burial Ground? �1

�� An overall plan would be good - 1

�� Summary/Sense:� Current policy states �There is no planting in the burial ground� (Appendix II, Handbook).� However, there is clearly interest in plantings.� If we wish to revise the current policy, our eventual plantings plan will need to take shape alongside decisions about a border/fencing, presence or absence of sheep, and how maintenance will be handled.

g.� uses in addition to burial (sheep grazing, kids playing, etc.)

�� Sheep:� yes 3, no 3, maybe 2

�� Kids:� yes 7, no 3

�� Both ok/fine/great:� 7

�� Hard to prevent these uses - 1

�� Sheep and kids ok if plantings are protected - 10

�� Sheep and kids not wanted - 3

�� Sheep excrement no - 1

�� Kids playing is ok - 2

�� Ok for kids to walk but not play - 1

�� Yes!� Makes for good energy/otherwise is waste of good land - 2

�� Family picnics - 2

�� Meditation - 2

�� Summary/Sense:� There is a sense among many (though not all) that multiple uses would be best; sheep are cool, and may help reduce our need for mowing.� However, we must recognize that if sheep are present, other uses become more complicated, as we must factor in sheep droppings, potentially destructive grazing, and electric fences.� Agreeing to keep sheep out would mean we could consider plantings, fencing/borders, and kids�/adults� activities on their own merits.

h.� maintenance/�perpetual care�

�� Yes - 3

�� Yes, mowing - 3

Mow or graze - 2

�� Feels funny to drive the mower over graves - 1

�� Minimal care is fine - 2

�� Simplicity - 2

�� Keep stones cleared of overgrowth - 1

�� Care of fence and gate - 1

�� Consistent with rest of meetinghouse - 1

�� Meeting should decide level of care - 1

�� Clarify who is to do it�Grounds?� A free-standing, long-term committee?� Incorporate into workdays?� Volunteers?� Paid? - 8

�� Hard to imagine it � 1

�� Require annual payment � 1

�� Summary/Sense:� There is general agreement that maintenance needs to be done.� Comments and questions concern what is to be included in maintenance and how it should be carried out.� Plantings, fencing/borders, signs, and pathways, if we add them, will all require some degree of maintenance as well.� Current policy specifies that �Grounds Committee is responsible for maintaining the burial ground� (Appendix II, Handbook).

i.� fees for use of the burial ground (no fee is charged now)

�� Approve of charging no fee - 21

�� What kind? � 1

�� Be flexible - 1

�� No fee, but encourage voluntary/suggested donations - 7

�� What fees do other meetings charge, and what are they used for; we should talk about fees - 1

�� Modest fee (for modest costs) - 4

(Only) if needed for costs/maintenance/paid caretaker; any fee should be tied to care - 10

�� Probably should have�perhaps on sliding scale - 1

�� One-time only, if any - 2

�� One-time $50 fee - 1

�� Fees could go into burial fund�voluntary contributions for maintenance or support for poorer members� burial - 2

�� Summary/Sense:� Most prefer no fee.� Many recognize that a fee may be appropriate, but are clear that it should be related to our costs and in any case should not be high.� Investigating the practice of other meetings might be helpful to us.� Our current policy states that �There will be no charge for a burial plot . . . .� The Overseers [now Care and Counsel] will suggest a suitable donation to the burial ground fund, which will pay for the maintenance of the burial ground and associated expenses� (Appendix II, Handbook).� If we increase the level of maintenance required (see (h) above), our costs may increase.

j.� other aspects of the burial ground

�� A bench or two would be nice - 6

Create virtual space for privacy � 1

�� Big question is who can be buried here - 1

�� Should be for members and family only - 1

�� Should be only for members of the Mt. Toby community � 1

�� The issue of separation from other non-Quaker family members if I/we use this burial area - 1

�� Who is to do the grave digging? - 1

�� Can we have double decker graves? - 1

�� What health regulations must be followed? - 1

�� Summary/Sense:� Eligibility is a concern.� Note:� Some comments were included in other sections of the report.�

6.� What is your preference for disposition of your remains upon death?

�� a.� cremation __35__

�� b.� burial with casket and vault __0__

�� c.� green burial __6__

�� cremation or green burial __3__

�� d.� undecided __2__

�� whatever my family wants __1__

�� e.� need more information __1__; what kind(s) of information do you need?

�� What is green burial? - 12

�� What is most environmentally benign? - 1

Is cremation best? � 1

Is cremation not green? - 1

�� Summary/Sense:� Most expect to be cremated; ashes may or may not be buried, and they may or may not be buried at Mt. Toby.� Many are interested in the possibility of green burial.� No one expressed interest in traditional burial.�

7.� How old are you?� ____ years

�� 30s - 3

�� 40s � 16

�� 50s - 12

�� 60s - 12

�� 70s � 9

�� 80s - 2

8.� Other comments or concerns we haven�t addressed:

�� Keep it simple.

�� I plan to be scattered elsewhere.� Can there be a memorial plaque, perhaps in the lobby?

�� Have a yearly remembrance of all who have died

�� Must have good record-keeping

�� Users should be asked (1) their preference of undertaker, (2) desires specific to memorial meeting

�� I�m interested in its history.� Who is buried there?� Can there be a map, with names of those buried, posted inside the meetinghouse?

�� Thanks for doing this!

Keep up the good work!

�� *�� *�� *�� *�� *�� *�� *�� *�� *�� *�� *�� *

Issues on which there seems to be general (if not unanimous) agreement:

�� The Burial Ground should be restful and welcoming.� One or more wheelchair-accessible pathway(s) would be appropriate.� A bench or two would be appreciated.� A fence is not needed, although creating some sense of privacy (that is, space for reflection) and separation from parking are suggested.� Boundaries should be marked somehow�not with a fence, but perhaps with plantings and/or a stone wall, and an identifying sign would be helpful.� One or more trees may be appropriate, perhaps as part of the boundary marking.� Flat grave markers are appropriate.�

�� The Burial Ground Group recommends that we agree not to permit sheep grazing on the portion that is in use.�

Issues needing further discernment:

�� (1)� Specifics as to

o� marking of boundaries;

o� what sort of surface for pathways;

o� what is to be included in �maintenance,� beyond mowing, and how it is to be carried out;

o� and probably other questions as well.

�� (2)� We generally prefer not to have a fee for use, though we may want to look into other Friends� practices and return to the question of fees after we have a better sense of our own maintenance costs.

�� (3)� If we are no longer entertaining the idea of sheep grazing, do we want to revisit our policy on plantings on graves?� If so, what guidelines would be appropriate?

�� (4)� There have been many questions about who is or ought to be eligible for burial in the Burial Ground.� Do we want to revisit our policy, or let current policy (previously discussed at length in the meeting) stand?�

�� (5)� No one expressed interest in a traditional burial; the overwhelming preference of respondents is cremation, with some interest in green burial.� Since the Burial Ground is set up for traditional burial�that is, plot size and spacing are based on standard casket and vault sizes�perhaps we want to reconsider our overall plan.� In addition, several people expressed concern about the effects of embalming fluid on groundwater, interest in environmentally appropriate body disposal, and questions about cremation versus green burial.� Perhaps information sharing and discussion on these topics would be helpful as we consider what we want for our Burial Ground.�

March 2005