Frequently Asked Questions about Children and Worship
at Chestnut Hill Friends Meeting

I understand that you want children to sit in meeting for worship for the first 15 minutes, but what if my child can’t sit still for 15 minutes?

All children are invited to meeting for worship for the first 15 minutes, and we encourage parents to lead their children to join us.

We know that silence and stillness are difficult for children, and we are very tolerant of age-appropriate restlessness and noises.

We encourage children to learn to be as still and quiet as possible. As children get older, we remind them that younger children are less able to be still and silent, and we ask that they not copy or entice inappropriate behavior from younger children.

There is also a written paper offering ideas that children may try out to experience meeting for worship, including meditation, prayer, holding in The Light both people and problems, etc.

May my child bring a toy into meeting for worship?

Soft, quiet toys are often age-appropriate, and younger children may bring a favorite toy from home or take one from the box outside of the meeting room.

In selecting a toy to bring from home, we ask that you be mindful of the Quaker Peace Testimony and not allow a child to bring any toy relating to violence (such as toy guns or soldiers).

What will my child experience during meeting for worship?

If you are not already familiar with Quaker unprogrammed worship, we would encourage you to look at some of the literature that is available in the gathering room, or to ask a member of the meeting.

There are not often spoken messages while children are in meeting, but children should be prepared to listen respectfully if an adult (or another child—thoughtful spoken ministry is welcomed from children as much as from adults) should choose to speak. (Children are often surprised when someone is “allowed” to “talk” in meeting.)

Please be sure your child knows that it is not appropriate to enter or leave the meeting room while someone is speaking, nor to talk or make excessive noise during someone else’s message.

What if we arrive for meeting just after 10:30?

If you arrive between 10:30 and 10:45, you may sit in the gathering room, just outside the meeting room. During meeting for worship, the gathering room is a worshipful place, too, so our conduct there is consistent with our conduct in the meeting room. By its very nature, however, there will be people walking in and out of the gathering room during that 15 minute period.

What happens after the rise of meeting and after First Day School ends?

All children are expected to share in cleaning up and putting the room back in order after First Day School, and should not expect teachers to do all the cleanup. If you see that books, toys, or supplies are left out, please help your child put them away.

On the second and third First Days (as well as others from time to time) tables are set up in the First Day School room, and a light meal or other refreshments are served before activities that follow the rise of meeting. You are welcome to stay for any activities and, if you wish to stay, you are welcome to share our meal, but we ask that children be discouraged from helping themselves to food before adults have begun to serve.

Please be mindful that the First Day School rooms are used by others during the week. Please check that the rooms are straightened up (again) if your child plays in them during any meeting activity.

How will I know when First Day School is canceled due to weather?

If the weather is harsh (i.e. snow, ice, flooding), making it dangerous for children and teachers to come to meeting, please assume that there will be no First Day School or child care that morning.

May I stay in First Day School with my child?

Parents are encouraged to attend meeting for worship and we ask that you not remain in the First Day School room during the children’s time for worship. If you must stay with your child for a few minutes to get the child acclimated, we will understand, but please respect the children’s time of worship and leave your child with the assigned teachers. If you have specific concerns about your child, please discuss them with a member of the Religious Education Committee.

If my child is mature (or immature) for her age, may she join an older (or younger) First Day School group?

Children in First Day School should expect to sit with and participate in the appropriate age/grade class. However, we are flexible and can make exceptions if there are reasons for the exception and the exception will not cause disruptions. We hope that children and parents will be also flexible in helping us to make choices that will enrich (and not diminish) the First Day School experiences of all children.

How can I learn more about Quaker worship and Quaker testimonies?

There are a variety of brochures, pamphlets, and books in the gathering room, outside the meeting room, that can be taken (or borrowed) for those wishing to know more about Quaker faith and practice. You may also ask any member or regular attender for information and guidance.

It must be remembered that Quakers do not have a creed, and Quakers often disagree on matters of individual faith. A book titled Faith and Practice represents some areas in which there is general agreement within the Philadelphia Yearly Meeting (of which Chestnut Hill Monthly Meeting is a part), but readers should be prepared to find differing points of view within Quaker literature.

May I make a suggestion?

If you have any ideas or concerns about First Day School, please contact a member of the Religious Education Committee. The committee (and the meeting as a whole) welcomes your feedback.

Who is on the Religious Education Committee?

The names of the members of the committee are listed with the membership of other committees at the back of the meeting directory, copies of which can be obtained in the meetinghouse office. Most members and attenders know the members of the committee and will help you find one (or help you find someone who does know), so don’t be afraid to ask.